Why Gratitude Matters Now

Five years ago, I found myself in a general rut… under a cloud… you get it. Professionally things were not going in the direction I would have liked and personally, things were - at best - simply fine. 

I began researching motivational ideas and stumbled on a book by Greg Jacobson called Think Yourself Happy. At first, I was skeptical. Just the title alone made me cringe. But, seeing as it was a free book (at the time) and a quick read, I decided to give it a chance. Besides what did I have to lose, right?

Well, the book turned out to be helpful. It had five realistic strategies to follow, one of which I actually embraced daily and still practice today. 

The strategy was gratitude. Like many, I considered myself to be a grateful person before. But, the gratitude Jacobson talked about required consistency, intentionality, and purpose.

What is gratitude?

“Gratitude is appreciation in the now. It’s love for what is. It’s a state of grace. Living in gratitude is the perpetual act of being thankful. This state is also one of the deepest, most meaningful, and sustainable forms of happiness there is. And this feeling is available to you at any time you choose.”

— Greg Jacobson

The last part is my favorite because it is true. Gratitude is - for lack of better words - on demand. 

You may be asking yourself, why am I bringing up the importance of gratitude now?

As I look around the world, major crises are going on almost everywhere. If it is not COVID-19 directly, it is related to pre-existing social and economic issues and injustices. It is all quite overwhelming on a global and personal level.

This is where gratitude kicks in. Robert Emmons, Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Davis and the global leading expert on gratitude written about how gratitude can help amidst adversity.

“When faced with adversity, gratitude helps us see the big picture and not feel overwhelmed by the setbacks we’re facing at the moment… that attitude of gratitude can actually motivate us to tackle the challenges before us. Without a doubt, it can be hard to take this grateful perspective, but research suggests it is possible, and it is worth it.”

— Robert Emmons

These challenging times will pass but it is going to take time. There is no getting around it. The best thing we can do is prepare and equip ourselves with ways to keep our focus on the positive. Gratitude can help us do that. Below are some ways to practice gratitude every day, or in those moments when you may need a quick pick up:

1. Keep a daily gratitude journal - “Setting aside time on a daily basis to recall moments of gratitude associated with ordinary events, your personal attributes, or valued people in your life gives you the potential to interweave a sustainable life theme of gratefulness,” says Emmon (UC Davis Medical School). (Spoiler Alert - I did this consistently for a year and it worked.)

2. Write a thank-you note - “You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you letter expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person's impact on your life. Send it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself.” (Harvard Medical School)

3. Count your blessings - “Pick a time every week to sit down and write about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number — such as three to five things — that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.” (Harvard Medical School)

4. Meditate - “Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as "peace"), it is also possible to focus on what you're grateful for (the warmth of the sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).” (Harvard Medical School)

We created the tool below to help you practice gratitude. It is available for download here.

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Now is not the time to retreat.

We are a day away from 2020’s midway point.

2020 has been...everything. I recently heard someone use the saying ‘hills and valleys’ and I think that perfectly describes the year thus far. The year has had many highs and lows.

And as many of our cities begin pausing reopening plans, it would make sense to retreat and just ‘wait out’ the rest of the year.

But now is not the time.

Now is not the time to retreat from our personal responsibilities. There are things we can all do to help protect ourselves and those we care about from COVID-19. Wearing a mask when you can’t social distance is our responsibility.

Now it not the time to retreat from our goals. Now is the time to reaffirm our goals and continue to find ways to achieve them despite our current, unique challenges. Adapt. Thrive.

Now is not the time to forget everything that 2020 has taught us. Never have we been more prepared for the situation we are in than we are now. Never have we been as educated about issues such as Black Lives Matter as we are now.

This knowledge should empower us and thrust us into the second half of 2020 with purpose and determination.

Now is the time to reimagine what’s possible, plan a path to achieve it, and act on it - safely.

Focus On The Positive with Erika Gutierrez

HOW TO FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE

Everything we think we are experiencing in our lives right now is a product of the specific situations and thoughts we have chosen to place our focus on over time. This includes the thoughts we’ve allowed to reside in our minds, the activities we partake in, the people we want to surround ourselves with, and the energy we’ve allowed into our lives.
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When we delve too deep into our situations we often forget that our actions got us there… but ultimately, we forget that we have control of the actions that will get us out too. You can control which situations you involve yourself in at any moment, you literally just have to become aware of it and do it. Decide what it is you want to keep your focus on and what you’d like to change, and then proceed to make the change.

Strengthen your focus. 
Once you decide what you want to say “yes” to, the hard part is committing to saying “yes” and only “yes” to that one thing-unconditionally. And after that, you must completely look past all the negatives that will keep telling you “no”, because the reality is that life will throw way too many no’s at you before you receive your final yes.

People will often doubt you before believing you can succeed and situations will seem impossible before you can actually reach your goal. That is why often times people find it easier to give up before they finally succeed at what they want.

Keep a Positive Focus no matter what
It is important to remind yourself of what you want to accomplish and why. Keeping a positive attitude towards whatever it is you are working on is the key to accomplishing anything. When we feel stuck and unhappy, it may feel as if life is completely and totally against us– we become negative, and begin to create excuses that keep us from living the life we desire.
The worst part is, we don’t realize how much easier it is to complain and remain in a state of depression than to change our reaction to the current situation. This is why many people become negative and develop negative beliefs that really don’t have to exist. You can replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts but it is up to you to push past the discouragement and erase the negative emotions. 

It is so much easier to create excuses that will temporarily make us feel better about a current situation… but these excuses will just bring temporary comfort and leave you wondering why things haven’t changed. The same way you can spend your energy creating excuses, you can create reasons to get back up and keep trying.

That is why the majority of people allow their emotions to take control of them for the rest of their lives and begin to build very negative perceptions of the world.
And then these people go out to live their negative reality forever believing that it will remain unchanged, and in fact, it will forever remain unchanged for as long as they believe so. And unfortunately, they send out this negative energy into the universe and it begins to resonate onto all the people and situations around them.

Your reality is a product of your perception
But really, how terrible would this life be if we were doomed to live under constant control of our situations? Our day to day experiences are shaped by our beliefs and perception of the world.

If you go out into the world believing that you will have, yet again, another terrible day, or get into another toxic relationship- you will attract just that. If you wake up and tell yourself that you can accomplish anything and that no one is going to stop you… no one can stop you, unless you let them. You can’t say no one is going to stop you but then allow yourself to get upset over little interactions you encounter throughout your day. You must simply block them out and keep your focus.

At any given moment we have infinite possibilities to change the course of our lives by changing our focus… it all starts with the one thing we say “yes” to focusing on, and then proceeding to say “no” to all other possible things.  And by realizing this you can begin consciously deciding what thoughts and perceptions you will allow to form in your mind everyday. By doing this you will strengthen your positive focus and the road to pursuing your goals will become a lot clearer.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” — Henry Ford

Positivity is contagious, spread it ⭐️ Share this with the people around you…

FOTP Note: Erika Gutierrez is the voice behind The Positive Focus, the nothing-but-positive corner of the internet. Erika is an incredible writer and The Positive Focus is an inspiring place and wealth of positivity!!! FOTP HIGHLY recommends that you follow all her socials, SUBSCRIBE to her blog, and read all her blogs and poetry. 

Thank you Erika for allowing us to share this blog post! 🙌🙏

Focus On The Positive with Kelsey Eaton

I spent my entire life preparing for a management role in the non-profit sector. Every job, every volunteer opportunity, every contact, and my college degree was intentionally selected to work my way up to the top in a leadership role with an international non-profit. After spending two years in Peace Corps Paraguay, I was selected to be the In-Country Director of an international non-profit in India that prevented child trafficking via female empowerment. All those years of focus made my dream life come true. I loved living in India, I felt more alive than ever before but little did I know that I ended up in a toxic work environment that eventually led me to get an MRI as a result of my entire left arm going numb as a physical reaction to the extreme amount of stress. This should have been my wake up call, but how could I give up on my decade long dream to work at an Indian non-profit. I pushed myself to the extreme and tried everything I can to find work-life balance like massages, journaling, meditation, eating well, spending time with friends, exercising. None of it worked, the work problems amplified and I had a deep feeling inside that I needed to return home.  

So with a heavy heart and on my final thread, I completed my contract, packed my bags, and returned home after four years of working abroad without any clear direction of what was next. I was depressed and felt like I had given up on my dreams. After months of applying to jobs to no avail, I realized that I now had an opportunity to start fresh and truly create a life on my terms.  So I thought about what my dream life would look like. How I’d want to live day-to-day, who I’d want to work for/with, what I’d want to do, the type of environment I want to be a part of, the amount of money I want to make, and how my values would fit into my dream life.

And so I unleashed my entrepreneurial spirit. I published my first children’s book, launched a digital design business, became a certified life coach, and yoga teacher, and now am a business mentor for women who share my desire to be free to live a life on our terms. I believe the main factor that catapulted me to success was clarity on exactly what I wanted and taking small daily action steps to help me get there that were focused on the present moment, positive, and specific to my vision.

One of the best ways to catapult yourself into your dream life is to be crystal clear on what you want and a positive mindset to help get you there.  I’d like to share three important questions to ask yourself to get clear on your dreams paired with ways you can take daily action steps to make them come true.

Journal on the following questions:
1. What would you do if you didn't need money? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. What would you do if you didn't care what people think? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. What would you do if you didn't want to make a name for yourself?

Accordingly, these questions will help you get clear on what you want to create in your life. Next, we will focus on bringing this vision to life with a positive mindset.  The key to having a positive mindset is focused on small daily action steps to make progress and see results.

Here are some ways you can focus on having a positive mindset aligned with your current vision:

1. Limiting Beliefs - Write down all of the limiting beliefs you have about why this vision isn’t possible for you right now. This includes beliefs you hold about yourself, fears you have about what others will think or say about it, and societal norms that may hold you back. Take time to actually understand how all of these limiting beliefs are not true. You have the capability to create whatever life you want to have, all that’s required is the decision to take action.

2. Affirmations - Create affirmations based on the opposite of your limiting beliefs. You want to make sure they’re written in the present tense focused on the outcome of your vision.  Repeat your affirmation to yourself throughout the day, set alarms on your phone, and if you’re really into this then write it down 100x for 21 days. For example, many people told me that making money as a yoga teacher would be a struggle, this is a limiting belief that I had picked up on, and believed to be true. I released this belief and replaced it with a new belief and affirmation, “I’m a high earning life coach and yoga teacher for women worldwide”.

3. Take inspired action - When you’re solely focused on your vision and all the positivity that comes with it, you’ll begin to get more and more ideas about how to make it happen. You’ll start to connect with the right people, feel inspired to share an idea with someone that catapults you in the direction of your dream life. The key here is to stay open to whatever guidance comes your way and tune out any beliefs that keep you where you’re at right now.

4. Gratitude - If you ever feel uninspired or reach a point of negativity (which we all do), the easiest way to shift back to positivity and focusing on your vision is by listing out everything you’re grateful for, reviewing your past gratitude list, and feeling appreciative for all the progress you have made. This awareness will help you immediately shift back to what feels good and opens you up to abundance.

These steps are a good foundation for creating a life on your terms and always remember, you’re the only one who will be with you your entire life so make sure it’s a life worth living. ​

- Kelsey M. Eaton

FOTP Note: Kelsey is the creator of the Turn Your Life On program.

Focus On The Positive with Geqigula Dlamini

“I want to be the best lemonade maker in the land.”

​Let’s leave that there for a second. I promise we’ll come back to it but there is an important question I want to answer first: Why focus on the positive? Before I tell you why I think we should all practice positivity, I’m going to let an expert, University of Michigan professor B.L. Fredrikson, tell you why: 

People should cultivate positive emotions in their own lives and in the lives of those around them, not just because doing so makes them feel good in the moment, but also because doing so transforms people for the better and sets them on paths toward flourishing and healthy longevity.

Whoa! A lot to unpack there. But essentially positivity is good for you in more ways than one and good for those around you. Personally, I see positivity as a life hack… a real world cheat code… perhaps the most natural superpower. I started Focus on the Positive because I, too, see the helplessness felt by our society that Dr. Joy Johnson referred to. How many times have you heard a friend say, “It doesn’t matter what I do!” or more commonly, “What’s the point?” (Nails on a chalkboard moment!!)

As my good friend Jordan M. wrote, in those moments of hopelessness or adversity, we have a choice to Make:

It has been my experience that option A (positivity) leads to more personal and professional happiness and opportunity. I know what you’re thinking: “Focus on the Positive… ha! Sounds greats in theory but…” In a more practical sense, I want you to consider what is in your control in the moment. First and mostly importantly, your attitude! YOU have the option to pick positivity. Secondly, YOU have to objectively step back and identify what action you can take (or not take). BREAKING NEWS: YOU ALWAYS HAVE OPTIONS. They may not always be great but you have them. I implore you to look back in history. Let’s take the civil rights movement as an example. Despite almost insurmountable odds, the great leaders of the movement championed on! I would never argue that our civil rights heroes were positive or optimistic all the time. However, I would argue that they were hopeful and optimistic when it was needed most.

In the first ever Focus on the Positive blog, Cindy Abbot spoke of the 10-feet-a-time approach – “Don’t worry about that mountain so high in the sky, just focus on the 10 feet in front of you.” IT WORKS. In my last semester, I had to come up with $10,000 in tuition fees to finish my bachelor’s degree… for a moment, all I could see was the top of the mountain. But, I started with the feet in front of me, kept looking for a solution and an opportunity presented itself that allowed me finish on time. That would not have happened had I chosen option B. Several years ago I wanted to change careers and 30+ applications later, I hadn’t heard from any of the places I had applied… (Again) for a moment, all I could see was the growing folder of unanswered applications. But, I made the choice to keep trying and improving my application until eventually, I got an interview and got the job. (Funny story - that week I actually got two interviews several hours apart in the same building.)

So going back to the lemonade: I want to be the best lemonade maker in the land. My 30 years have taught me life will give you lemons. Of course, I want things to always go smoothly but I’m realistic and know they won’t. But, I practice positivity for when they really don’t go according to plan. I believe the faster and better I can make that ‘lemonade,’ the better my life and outcomes will be.
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Here’s some of the ways I focus on the positive everyday:

• I start my day with a series of wins. Waking up for my alarm-win. Making it to the gym-win. Completing my workout-WIN. Then I go for another and another. These micro wins build up throughout the day. Part of overcoming adversity involves reminding yourself what you are capable of.

• I practice positive anticipation. This means I expect that things will go right. I anticipate that a solution will present itself. Siah Gaye Jr. said it best: When things aren’t going right, simply declare that it can only get better from here and then expect it.

• I try to consume things that help me stay positive. Books, music, articles, art… really anything that has a positive, uplifting message. Reading the blogs posts from our contributors and watching the vlog inspires me. There's a lot of noise nowadays and half the challenge is tuning it out. 

• Lastly, I try my best to practice gratitude constantly. I truly think gratitude is another life hack. If you can find something to be thankful for even in the toughest situations, it will give you valuable perspective.

Thank you for reading and for checking FOTP!
~ Geqigula

PS: I’d love to hear how you stay focused on the positive. Feel free to leave a comment or subscribe if you would like to see more in the future. 

Focus On The Positive with Jordan M.

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Positivity is a state of mind. Positivity is a way of life. Positivity is living for more than just today, but living today like tomorrow is a gift. Positivity is a conscious effort. If something is a conscious effort, it means you have the opportunity to choose (positivity) or choose something much worse. What choice do you make?

In life, often times it seems easier to not choose positivity, which may be true, but the best things in life are rarely the easiest to accomplish.  Say you put best foot forward for a job application. You spent hours on your resume. You bought a new outfit to wear for your interview. You pulled all-nighters researching the company. You imagined yourself already working in that position. You step out of your interview feeling like you killed it. Two days later you get a call from human resources informing you that you were not selected for the position. Your heart sinks. You feel like you wasted all of your time for nothing.

What if I told you that at this very moment, you have the opportunity to make one of the most important decisions in your life - to choose positivity or to choose negativity?
On paper, it would seem much easier to choose negativity. Instead of “wasting” time filling out another job application, you could watch the latest season of Game of Thrones. You could drink a few beers and wallow in your sorrow… accomplishing nothing as you sit by idly and let life pass you by. A real life wall-flower in full bloom.

Or, you could choose positivity. A good friend of mine once consoled me when I was feeling very down on myself. He said, “Jordan, the valley is right before the peak”. I will never forget what he said to me that day.

Choose positivity and ask yourself - What if that job was never meant to be for me in the first place? How can I funnel this whirlwind of emotion into positive motivation to become an even better version of myself than I was yesterday? What if getting passed on this job is a blessing in disguise and I will later on land my actual dream job... a job I might not have ever known was my dream job had I gotten the first job?

By choosing positivity, you understand that there is hope for tomorrow, and that hope lies in the choices you make today. Instead of picking up that aluminum can filled with fermented hops, you pick your keyboard and fill out another job application. You reach out to your mentor to discuss what you think went well with your previous application process. You identify opportunities for improvement, and you actively work towards those new goals. Today, you focus on the positivity, and tomorrow you will reap the benefits. ​

- Jordan M.   

Focus On The Positive with Dr. Joy Johnson

Photocredit: SacAct.Org

I intentionally live my life day by day focused on what is going right, rather than what is going wrong.  When I meet or face obstacles or difficulties, I focus on the part of the issue or problem where I can affect a change and not on the part that is out of my control.  This is the mindset that keeps me feeling both positive and empowered.  

My mindset has developed more and more over the years, but I trace it back to my mother and my grandmother. They both were very strong women with a conviction to family survival and advancement. Since they were always expecting and looking for solutions to problems that "crushed" most people, I grew up with an assurance and certainty about life, in general, and about our life in particular. I picked up the belief system that nothing is too hard once you set your mind to it. 

There is much value to be passed down in a multi-generational family and I received so much positiveness from being raised in the same house with my grandparents most of my life. I think it was the strength of the family layers that made my life feel stable. Out of that stability, came my assurance that as much as things around us may change, our home life stays the same.

I have tried to instill these same learnings into my own children.  They are grown now and attest to me that their "positive" views on life are rare among their peers and colleagues. I would like to see a real culture shift that instills positivity as a social norm to combat the hopelessness and defeat that plagues our society - young and old.

Dr. Joy Johnson
Website: www.wherelifematters.com
Twitter: @joyjohnsonmin

Focus On The Positive with Cindy Abbott

Image courtesy of ReachingBeyondTheClouds.com

I love the title of your blog: Focus on the Positive! The power of positive thinking is limitless – I know firsthand.

In 2007, after 14 years of experiencing the frightening symptoms of an unexplained illness, I was finally diagnosed with a serious and rare disease. That, however, did not stop me from reaching for my dreams. A few months later, at the age of 48, I took up mountain climbing with the single goal of standing on the top of the world. And at age 51, I took up sled dog racing with the single goal of completing the 1000-mile Alaskan Iditarod Sled Dog Race. I was told that these things were impossible, but I proved them wrong. I am now the only woman in the world to have both summited Mt. Everest and completed the Iditarod. 

People ask me how I do these things. First, I am an adventurer (not a risk-taker) and life is for living. So I developed my 10-feet-at-a-time approach. “Don’t worry about that mountain so high in the sky, just focus on the 10 feet in front of you.” This is literally how I climbed every mountain, ran the Iditarod sled dog race, and manage my disease. I have found this approach works for every aspect of life.  

You can read about it in my book Reaching Beyond the Clouds: From Undiagnosed to Climbing Mt Everest.

- Cindy Abbott