Focus On The Positive with Geqigula Dlamini
“I want to be the best lemonade maker in the land.”
Let’s leave that there for a second. I promise we’ll come back to it but there is an important question I want to answer first: Why focus on the positive? Before I tell you why I think we should all practice positivity, I’m going to let an expert, University of Michigan professor B.L. Fredrikson, tell you why:
People should cultivate positive emotions in their own lives and in the lives of those around them, not just because doing so makes them feel good in the moment, but also because doing so transforms people for the better and sets them on paths toward flourishing and healthy longevity.
Whoa! A lot to unpack there. But essentially positivity is good for you in more ways than one and good for those around you. Personally, I see positivity as a life hack… a real world cheat code… perhaps the most natural superpower. I started Focus on the Positive because I, too, see the helplessness felt by our society that Dr. Joy Johnson referred to. How many times have you heard a friend say, “It doesn’t matter what I do!” or more commonly, “What’s the point?” (Nails on a chalkboard moment!!)
As my good friend Jordan M. wrote, in those moments of hopelessness or adversity, we have a choice to Make:
It has been my experience that option A (positivity) leads to more personal and professional happiness and opportunity. I know what you’re thinking: “Focus on the Positive… ha! Sounds greats in theory but…” In a more practical sense, I want you to consider what is in your control in the moment. First and mostly importantly, your attitude! YOU have the option to pick positivity. Secondly, YOU have to objectively step back and identify what action you can take (or not take). BREAKING NEWS: YOU ALWAYS HAVE OPTIONS. They may not always be great but you have them. I implore you to look back in history. Let’s take the civil rights movement as an example. Despite almost insurmountable odds, the great leaders of the movement championed on! I would never argue that our civil rights heroes were positive or optimistic all the time. However, I would argue that they were hopeful and optimistic when it was needed most.
In the first ever Focus on the Positive blog, Cindy Abbot spoke of the 10-feet-a-time approach – “Don’t worry about that mountain so high in the sky, just focus on the 10 feet in front of you.” IT WORKS. In my last semester, I had to come up with $10,000 in tuition fees to finish my bachelor’s degree… for a moment, all I could see was the top of the mountain. But, I started with the feet in front of me, kept looking for a solution and an opportunity presented itself that allowed me finish on time. That would not have happened had I chosen option B. Several years ago I wanted to change careers and 30+ applications later, I hadn’t heard from any of the places I had applied… (Again) for a moment, all I could see was the growing folder of unanswered applications. But, I made the choice to keep trying and improving my application until eventually, I got an interview and got the job. (Funny story - that week I actually got two interviews several hours apart in the same building.)
So going back to the lemonade: I want to be the best lemonade maker in the land. My 30 years have taught me life will give you lemons. Of course, I want things to always go smoothly but I’m realistic and know they won’t. But, I practice positivity for when they really don’t go according to plan. I believe the faster and better I can make that ‘lemonade,’ the better my life and outcomes will be.
Here’s some of the ways I focus on the positive everyday:
I start my day with a series of wins. Waking up for my alarm-win. Making it to the gym-win. Completing my workout-WIN. Then I go for another and another. These micro wins build up throughout the day. Part of overcoming adversity involves reminding yourself what you are capable of.
I practice positive anticipation. This means I expect that things will go right. I anticipate that a solution will present itself. Siah Gaye Jr. said it best: When things aren’t going right, simply declare that it can only get better from here and then expect it.
I try to consume things that help me stay positive. Books, music, articles, art… really anything that has a positive, uplifting message. Reading the blogs posts from our contributors and watching the vlog inspires me. There's a lot of noise nowadays and half the challenge is tuning it out.
Lastly, I try my best to practice gratitude constantly. I truly think gratitude is another life hack. If you can find something to be thankful for even in the toughest situations, it will give you valuable perspective.
Thank you for reading and for checking FOTP!
~ Geqigula
PS: I’d love to hear how you stay focused on the positive. Feel free to leave a comment or subscribe if you would like to see more in the future.
